My blessings

Today I spoke with both of my children in America.

I visited with Jason and saw his wife briefly for a few happy moments while on Skype. They both are so incredibly nice and funny. I love my son's smile, and his wife's good nature; her smile too, lights up a room.

I spoke with Kimberly Mae on the phone and made an appointment to visit on Skype this Sunday. I also heard my 17-month-old granddaughter giggling and talking in the background. They both have such sweet voices and laughter, and are so pleasant to spend time with.

While speaking with them, it doesn't seem as if we're 10,000 miles apart...thank God for today's technology.

And, perhaps because of the distance, I am more acutely aware of everything they say, every nuance in their gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and appreciate more than ever the time we do get to spend together whether its via phone or video calls on the computer.

They have grown into young adults that I am so intensely proud of. Being a "new" step-mother to two teen girls and a young adult man has enhanced my admiration and appreciation of and for my own two children.

My daughter read to me the words from a song that means a lot to her, The Best Day, by Taylor Swift. When she finished, we were both in tears...and I was grateful, and pleased that she thinks so highly of me and loves me so much.

Along that same line, a day or so ago my son sent a letter on behalf of Steve for a character reference, and I was...were were both moved...to tears with his wonderful words and observations. I learned a few things about my son and how much he loves me, from that letter.

Today my son took me on a cyber tour of his and his wife's new abode. He was proud of their place, (it's very nice and fits their personalities so well) and proud to show it to me. I am honored. He and his wife will be here in a week to spend a month with us, and I am so much looking forward to it. I'm so beside myself, I'm almost two of me.

Yet, my joy in my children and their obvious love for me and for Steve as the extended part of "us three" was tempered a bit this week. It was made obvious to us from his circumstances that sometimes children are influenced by several means away from one, or both parents, and everyone suffers for it.

It seems to me that a lot of children nowadays (grown and growing up) don't love and appreciate their parents very much. Perhaps it's because of time spent in the workplace and busy schedules keeping children involved and informed with extra-curricular activities, and sometimes the parent is so caught up in their own interests, that the children are an add-on. Something to deal with later. Life is not so simple anymore. Do parents and children really take the time to get to know each other and foster respect on both sides?

I think we are often too busy. Sometimes ugly divorces make things even harder.

I wasn't the perfect mom, although I wanted to be. As I age, I see so many mistakes I made, and as is common as we get older, seem to focus more on what "coulda been," rather than the good of what was. But my children seem to have overlooked, or even better, overcome my foibles, and have turned out to be young adults that I am very proud of. More than I know how to say. When I try to tell them I cry, and that makes us all feel weird. But they know me. They know my heart. They know they are loved fiercely and without condition. They know my arms and my heart are always open. Always and forever.


"I think it harder
Lord, to cast
the cares of those I love
on You,
than to cast mine.

We, growing older,
learn at last
that You
are merciful
and kind.
Not one time
have You failed me,
Lord--
why fear that You'll fail mine?"
--Ruth Bell Graham

I know that He won't. He hasn't. And He promised that He would be faithful, even if we are faithless. I rest my heart on Him.