My son

Groggy.

That's how I felt coming off medication
Late in the evening
In the hospital
After my son was born.

My firstborn.
An emergency Cesarean
Saved his life and mine.
And wakening, I wanted to see him.

A nurse brought to me his warm infant body
Swaddled in a thin blanket.
Awake, he looked at me somberly
With dark blue eyes flecked with hazel dots.

I checked his fingers and toes...
Perfectly formed,
Miniatures of mine.
So tiny, like a dolly I once had.

A tuft of dark hair
Formed a curl on top of his beautifully shaped
Round head.
What a perfect child.

I cradled his tiny feet
With my enormous-looking palms
And marveled at this new life,
This new responsibility.

He fed at my breast hungrily
Taking in nourishment
That God designed in me
To give to him.

Nurse wanted to take him away from my sheltering arms
But I said, "No."
"He's fine."
And we napped together, my son and I.

He grew too quickly.
Rosy cheeks, eyes turned olive green,
Mop of dark curls,
An infectious smile and laugh.

His first steps were toward me
While he held toys
To share
In outstretched arms.

As he aged,
I put away his childish toys
That had lost interest to him.
I wept, sitting on the floor in his room, remembering drool and fun.

He grew. I remembered tiny feet in my palm
And wondered
How those huge shoes by the front door
Could belong to that same little person.

He's grown now.
Married,
With a job, a dream, goals
And other responsibilities.

My son was, and is
The joy of my heart,
Delight of my eyes,
Creation of God given to me.

Yet he will always be my son,
Flesh of my flesh,
Blood of my blood that I nourished
And held, and wept and rejoiced and prayed over.

I still rejoice and I still pray.
What a man to be proud of, he is.
And on his 26th birthday coming soon
I will remember rocking him to sleep.

Happy birthday, Jason.
I'm thinking of you, and remembering.


Jason with cheesy grin, April 2008


Jason and wife of one year, Naomi (nee Zimmerman)


Jason and Breighlynn Maelee-Jean, his niece and my granddaughter in April 2008. She was born 25 years and 364 days after him.

My son, the comic


Naomi and Jason